Saturday, January 14, 2006

"Who Cares What You Think?"

Did anyone watch the end of the Alito hearings? They were so dorky. The Democrats are such lame-o uncool-heads! What geeks! They lack seriousness and gravity.

Also there were a lot of "lawprofs" at the hearings. You might think a "lawprof" like me would therefore be interested in the proceeedings. But I already know what I think! Thus, I already know what I will think about what will be said that I won't hear. Obviously.

By far the most absurd performance was turned in by Laurence Tribe:
Tribe: I'm not here to oppose his nomination, as I did several months before that time with Robert Bork. And I'm not here to lecture the committee on its responsibilities or its role. I don't think that's my role.

[Criticisms of Alito omitted. They were so partisan! Specific criticisms of things are dorky.]

SPECTER: Professor Tribe, did you say you were not testifying against Judge Alito?

TRIBE: I am not recommending any action. I'm recommending that everyone -- because I think it's foolish. Nobody really cares what I think.

SPECTER: Aside from your recommendation, are you saying you're not testifying against Judge Alito?

TRIBE: I'm not testifying for or against Judge Alito. I'm explaining why I am very troubled by his views. Obviously, it follows from that that I would be hard pressed to recommend his confirmation.
That is so silly!

Can you imagine how ridiculous it is to go before a Senate committee and not give a straight answer to a simple question? Why can't Tribe say clearly what he wants to do about Alito, given what Alito has very clearly totally avoided saying about his nomination? What hypocrisy.

Also, Tribe is clearly taking on the persona of a "humble law professor character." I think that is outrageous. He is speaking as though he is a simple, nonpartisan law professor, but he obviously has an agenda. That is utterly disgusting. I think anyone who would pretend to not have a political agenda by hiding under the "nonpartisan law professor" disguise is simply nauseating.

But what is especially outrageous here is Tribe's utter lack of self-awareness about what he is doing. That is shocking. It must be truly horrible to go through life while laboring under such preposterous delusions.

UPDATE: The number seven partisans are at it again! All seventh comments are disgracefully partisan.

37 Comments:

Blogger Aspasia M. said...

Oh my.

If Tribe would simply learn how to play hide the salami, he could, like Prof. Altmouse, develop a superior way of approching legal questions.

10:16 PM  
Blogger K. Ron Silkwood said...

"I think anyone who would pretend to not have a political agenda by hiding under the 'nonpartisan law professor' disguise is simply nauseating."

Your statement is so concise, clear, and cogent that it bears quoting, Dear Blogress. This Tribe must be a dreadful man with horrible hair.

10:35 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

But what is especially outrageous here is Tribe's utter lack of self-awareness about what he is doing. That is shocking. It must be truly horrible to go through life while laboring under such preposterous delusions.

I think the name "Tribe" is kind of problematic, too. It has this silly sort of hippy-dippy collectivist sound to it. Don't apes live in "tribes"? It sounds like something they'd do.

Normally, one might give him the benefit of the doubt...but when you look at how partisan he is, it seems very likely that it's a fake name chosen for its political resonance.

That said, I don't want to jump to conclusions. After all, his name could be fake because he's wanted by the police in this country or another one. Funny how the press doesn't seem to want to investigate this possibility...

11:01 PM  
Blogger flory said...

After all, his name could be fake because he's wanted by the police in this country or another one.

He was spotted in WalMart buying prepaid cellphones!

11:13 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:17 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:18 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:20 PM  
Blogger Ann Altmouse said...

Comment number seven, like all such comments, was shockingly partisan. I never read such posts and do not care to know who made them.

This "Phila" person is a partisan of the most alarming stripe.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Nim said...

I heard some bloggers with an agenda suggest that Prof. Tribe was being "ironic" and making a tongue-in-cheek comment on Alito's Roe statements. Implying that Alito was obviously willing to overturn Roe, while maintaining a ridiculous facade of being non-committal.

This is ridiculous! People always mean exactly what they say. The idea that someone would mean the -opposite- of something they are saying is preposterous. That is very partisan thinking. If you mean to say somethihg, why would you say the opposite?? It makes no sense and is unhelpful.

5:55 AM  
Blogger ntodd said...

I think the name "Tribe" is kind of problematic, too. It has this silly sort of hippy-dippy collectivist sound to it. Don't apes live in "tribes"? It sounds like something they'd do.

Actually, it's clearly racist, just like calling the Cleveland Indians "The Tribe".

5:58 AM  
Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

I think Jews live in tribes too. Could Tribe be signalling that he is a neocon?

8:36 AM  
Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

Surely, we lawprofs ought to be interested in hearing what lawprofs have to say, you might think. But, no, actually, no. We're so used to what we think that we feel we already know what will be said.

I honestly cannot believe that your doppleganger writes or believes this stuff. What do her students and peers think of this? This is what passes for a professor?

If I didn't know better, I would swear AltHouse was the spoof.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Aspasia M. said...

I think that Prof. AltMouse is projecting partisanship onto the seventh post.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

I am afraid so. I am not sure if it is just the seventh posts or any multiple of seven. I note this post is an intensely unpartisan fourteenth post, if I do say so myself.

Strike this post down, Ms. Altmouse, and it will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Or, it might just vanish.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

If anyone wishes to see how Ms. Althouse videos, you can find one here. But don't say I didn't warn you.

It's like seeing Ann Coulter in 20 years.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

Ms. Altmouse, I sincerely hope you're not going to delete this inoffensive post, and then respond to it in such a way that your readers will think it was somehow offensive. I think that'd be shockingly partisan of you.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

You shouldn't delete this one, either. But if you do, please have the decency not to comment on it.

4:52 PM  
Blogger ellroon said...

You can't say Ms! That connotes hippies and liberal thinking weirdo latte drinking sandal wearing tree huggers.

Spinster has a nice ring to it.

5:17 PM  
Blogger ntodd said...

DELETE THIS POST! I DARE YOU!!!

7:29 AM  
Blogger flory said...

The idea that someone would mean the -opposite- of something they are saying is preposterous.

That would be *irony*. And we all know there is no irony on the internets.
Prof Altmouse said so.

Or did she?

1:17 PM  
Blogger Ann Altmouse said...

I have deleted ebvery post in this thread and then reposted them exactly as they appeared. However, I have completely removed all traces of "irony."

Irony is a partisan disease, like botulism, mononucleosis, or empiricism. It should be stamped out, with a very big stamper.

5:21 PM  
Anonymous freq flag said...

Do you (in your professorial opinion, of course) think that some non-partisan inventor (possibly a non-sexist woman, even) might invent a speed stamper?

...'cause that'd truly be a non-ironic future that I would love to be a part of.

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