Monday, January 16, 2006


Bloggers who are lawyers and are always blogging about the law are so pretentious. It seems they need to establish their credentials by showing off their "expertise" and "experience" and "research." That obsession strikes me as very lacking in self-knowledge. They must be very insecure. If they were really as accomplished legal thinkers as they pretend, they would talk about interesting things like staples, speed-listening, nostrils, and lint. They would also explain why movies they haven't seen are silly and fake. Another good idea would be for them to start constantly pointing out how their grown-up son thinks his lawprof mommy is the World's Smartest Lawprof and is ever so insightful and clever. Because that isn't creepy or weird at all.

Those pretentious lawbloggers should stop discussing the "law" and instead start endlessly referring to themselves as a "lawprof." They should say things like "lawprofs never listen to other lawprofs about the law" or "lawprofs like to eat baloney sandwiches."

Of course, not all of these lawbloggers are lawprofs. They should merely then find a syllable of their speciality which can be attached to the word "law." As in, "crimlaws think biopics are silly," or "corplaws wonder: do cats in Paris sneeze in French?," or "envirolaws are against their own partisanship." That would be the best thing to do.

My son thinks this is a great idea!

UPDATE: One movie I do like is the original documentary version of "The Manchurian Candidate." It always amazed me, though, how partisans attacked Angela Lansbury's character in that film. Her politics were no good, of course, but her maternal instincts were perfectly admirable. Only partisans would disagree.


Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

So the question is, just what is John Altmouse Cohen being programmed to do?

John Altmouse Cohen: It's a terrible thing to hate your mother. But I didn't always hate her. When I was a child, I only kind of disliked her.

Bennett Marco: I remember... I remember. I can see that Chinese cat standing there and smiling like Fu Manchu saying: The Queen of Diamonds is reminiscent in many ways of John Altmouse Cohen's dearly loved and hated mother... and is the second key to clear the mechanism for any other assignment.

Ann Altmouse to the former Mr. Altmouse. I keep telling you not to think! You're very, very good at a great many things, but thinking, hon', just simply isn't one of them.

4:53 PM  
Blogger ntodd said...

I'm suddenly very aroused.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous Vicky said...

'Ann Altmouse to the former Mr. Altmouse. I keep telling you not to think! You're very, very good at a great many things, but thinking, hon', just simply isn't one of them.'

And besides it's not at all strange or odd even, that you lurk on your exhusband's blog posting corrective and critical comments and repeat them on your own blog. This is normal and not in the least bit obsessive and people who say it is are partisan and jealous.

8:28 PM  
Blogger Pooh said...

Her son will be an even more divine, non-political, anti-partisan, non-lawtalking lawblawger than she. No she is not a stage mom. It's just a viscious rumor that their segments got edited out of a certiain reality show for being too embarassing.

9:21 PM  
Blogger flory said...

Her politics were no good, of course, but her maternal instincts were perfectly admirable.

And she rides a bicycle. Bicycle riding is completely non-partisan.

9:23 PM  
Blogger K. Ron Silkwood said...

Yes. This is exactly so. No rational person would disagree.

Too many commenters are writing to one another and not concentrating solely on Dear Blogress. Please stop this!! It is just rude.

10:37 PM  
Blogger Pooh said...

Dear Blogress,

Spare me from your divine law of seventh comments. I promise to make the seventh comment a paragon of good-linty-taste, with nary a hint of those partisan squirrels, nor those activist actors. Pretty please. I promise :)

10:58 PM  
Blogger Scott Lemieux said...

This comment is egreiously partisan, and the product of a highly unreflective mind.

10:59 PM  
Blogger Fred Woodston said...

Pooh should be deleted. He's being ironic.

4:42 AM  
Blogger ntodd said...

Too many commenters are writing to one another and not concentrating solely on Dear Blogress. Please stop this!! It is just rude.

You're not the boss of me.

5:29 AM  
Blogger Ann Altmouse said...

Scott, few here are deceived by your faux non-partisanship. You are a partisan who believes, falsely, that I am deceived by partisanship. You want me to link to you, but I will not. You have attacked me unfairly regularly on that cesspit blog of yours that I never read! You need to apologize and see that I have merely held up a mirror to your own shortcomings.

4:58 PM  
Blogger ellroon said...

A bicycle has two wheels like two sides of an argument and you have to balance between them and keep both of the wheels moving to get anything done. This is a unhealthy tolerance to all things partisan.
Now unicycles are ideal.

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