Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Movies of the year.

I have not seen any movies this year. They are all terrible!

The thing I do not like about movies is that they are filled with pretentious actors. These actors are never real -- they are always pretending! Lots of people consider "Patton" a great movie, for example. And, I admit, for years I loved it. I thought it was a very stirring film about how it is good when America fights in wars. But then I found out through research that George Patton was not in the movie at all! Instead, it was all phony. "Patton" was really a man named John S. Scott pretending to be the legendary general! I wrote an angry letter to the Pentagon demanding that they arrest the Scott imposter for impersonating a military officer. Yet they did nothing. Of course that was during the Clinton administration, which was extremely partisan.

So it may shock you to find out that this year's hit biopic "King Kong" does not feature a real giant killer gorilla at all. Instead, the beast is "faked" using "special effects." Who wants to see pretend giant gorillas? That is absurd!

But there is one movie that came out this year that I can recommend wholeheartedly:



Order it here today. It is a terrific documentary about the lives and loves of young people trying to make a go of it in the music biz. A must see, and extremely nonpartisan.

22 Comments:

Blogger refinnej said...

Just out of curiosity, where would one go to find REAL giant, killer gorillas? And how would one go about casting said gorilla in a film? With unions being so partisan and all, would they allow giant, killer gorillas into SAG?

I'm asking you because I hear tell that you've got a giant head that is jam packed with all kinds of legal knowledge and shit...

5:00 PM  
Blogger K. Ron Silkwood said...

Pardon me, refinnej, but those are far too many questions. You are far too "curious." I hope to save you further embarrassment.

11:09 PM  
Blogger NYMary said...

Professor Altmouse,
You might also enjoy some nonpartisan films like Happy Scrappy Hero Pup, Boobah, or possibly The Brave Little Toaster.

Just trying to help.

4:02 AM  
Blogger refinnej said...

Thank you for the heads up k. ron..

I'm going to spend my morning in serious self-reflection so as to not bug Ms Altmouse and her gigantic head with my curiosity

4:46 AM  
Blogger Ann Altmouse said...

kron is right. Questions can be awfully partisan. Why focus on what I didn't say?

4:46 AM  
Blogger Atrios said...

You might like "adaptation" Ann. It's a documentary about Nicholas Cage trying to write a film and then he gets caught up in some weird stuff.

9:30 AM  
Blogger Tlazolteotl said...

Um, actually, wasn't it George C. Scott pretending to be Patton? Or did I just miss some snark?

12:15 PM  
Blogger David Studhalter said...

I am not a regular. Never been here before. But either this is a put on, or this our host is one of the stupidest beasts in the blogosphere.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

I don't think all movies are terrible, but I do think that movie theaters should die out. I see them as a form of collectivism that we overcame when we were able to buy videocassette recorders and watch things at home. Don't you agree?

2:23 PM  
Blogger Fred Woodston said...

I'm about to blow your enormohead - the ape is real!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Ann Altmouse said...

Atrios no doubt is recommending movies in order to artificially inflate his hit count. I believe any honest accounting of the numbers will reveal that I get more traffic than him.

Tlazolteotl, your point is not clear. You are advised to improve the quality of your posts. The same goes for David and Phila, who are invested in nonarguments and namecalling. That is sad!

Fred, I am afraid you are deceived. The ape is not "real" but instead a partisan snare.

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