Ryan Seacrest should be on the Supreme Court.

American Idol is back! Am I blogging it? Of course! What else would I have to do? I am sure I can finish this semester's syllabi and grade last semester's exams by April at the very least. Starbuck's is open late!

I broke down in tears when a cowboy named Garet Johnson, who has never been on an airplane or had any singing lessons, explained how he sings Elton John songs to his turkeys "because there is no people to sing to." He lives in a town where people do not like to hear cowboy turkey love songs. They are so partisan! The most touching moment came when he explained how he once told one of his turkeys, "I don't know how to quit you!" To quit singing Elton John songs to the bird, of course. I wept.

American Idol this season is like the Alito hearings. Samuel Alito is like a cowboy, singing his nonpartisan songs of Elton John to the Democratic "turkeys." But his songs of law need to be sung on the airplane of the highest court in all the land! And no "Senator Simon Kennedy" should stop him. I am weeping as I type this.

Did I mention I was a lawprof? Here is a picture of the Alito Cowboy. He is singing "Crocodile Rock." But he is a turkey and not a crocodile! What a hoot.


UPDATE: As a lawprof, I have to say that I have no sympathy at all for so-called "parody blogs." They are partisan snares! This person is in serious legal hot water. As a lawprof, I think he is in big trouble. And rightly so. What a partisan!

Did you ever wonder if "tungsten" would be a good name for a flavor of ice cream?