Friday, February 10, 2006

Kos and Atrios are clouds like dark Heffalumps.



I was shocked to learn that the very nonpartisan site Red State has been tricked into citing the words of someone who has been making fun of this blog for a while now. This person is a pathetic nonentity who would never make it in law school. But look at how ludicrous the parody is:
"In the year that I've been blogging I've taken a lot of different positions, some left and some right. What I've noticed, over and over, is that the bloggers on the right link to you when they agree and ignore the disagreements, and the bloggers on the left link only for the things they disagree with, to denounce you with short posts saying you're evil/stupid/crazy, and don't even seem to notice all the times you've written posts that take their side. . .

I'm just saying that I'm struck by the way the right perceives me as a potential ally and uses positive reinforcement and the left doesn't see me as anything but an opponent - doesn't even try to engage me with reasoned argument. Maybe the left feels beleaguered these days, but how do they expect to make any progress if they don't see the ways they can include the people in the middle?"
My nonpartisanship is here the "target" of alleged "satire."

When would I ever write a post taking the side of the partisan Left? They are too partisan! The Left should stop attacking me because if they were not so rabidly partisan, they would admit that I am always right.

But it is a good question: how does the Left hope to win any elections without my completely passive, nonpartisan help? It is my job to sit like a placid, perfect, white-fluffy cloud over the blogosphere. Will I be wafted by the gentle zephyrs of the Right? Or will I be buffeted by the tempestuous, sullen thunderheads of the angry Kos Left? Where, O! where, will I drop the gentle, nourishing rain that is my vote?

Or... maybe I am just disguising myself as a raincloud in order to get some honey. You will never know! I am very clever that way.

UPDATE: It is true though that the Right uses "positive reinforcement." Glenn often sends me the most delicious little bone-shaped biscuits! And honey. I like to eat honey with my lawprof paws. Once, of course, I ate too much and got stuck in his blog, but that is another story.

39 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If my current observations of republicans and their behaviors hold true; yes, you are always right Ann! Even when you are wrong.
You don't even need the sword of the law to cut to the truth on this one, because the master of the plantaton is never wrong.

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Bi-Coulter said...

Ann, your sweet bipartisanship is so HOT! IS there any way we can get together so I can show you some bipartisan loving? Reading your thoughts makes me feel like a Republican trapped in a Democrat's body!

10:01 PM  
Blogger flory said...

Be careful of those biscuits. You don't know what's in them.

10:40 PM  
Blogger Aspasia M. said...

I agree Professor! Everyone knows that righty trolls who post on liberal sites are nice and intelligent. They always engage in a positive, rational manner!

Look at the sweet trolls who visit Atrios and Kos. They even bring biscuits!

10:51 PM  
Blogger NYMary said...

I liked it when Charles Johnson drew a face on your ass and gave it antlers, Ann.

2:12 AM  
Blogger ellroon said...

You never can tell with bees....

4:00 PM  
Blogger ntodd said...

I wish trolls brought eclairs.

4:10 PM  
Blogger K. Ron Silkwood said...

I continue to envy every part of your wonderful life. You are such an inspirational and intelligent person, and so willing to share.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Phila said...

Have you ever noticed how Eeyore is a donkey, and how he hates everything and whines about everything and is objectively pro-heffalump?

Food for thought.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ann,

Should I know you?

7:51 AM  
Blogger upyernoz said...

red state is "nonpartisan"? i think you discredited your argument right from the first line.

what specifically does the "red" in "red state" refer to?

8:04 AM  
Blogger AssParrot said...

Be sure to take part in the "Ann Althouse is so non-partisan that ..." contest here.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Marine One said...

Nothing like setting yourself up to be hammered, is there?

8:24 AM  
Blogger shrimplate said...

Atrios' and Kos' eclairs are full of yummy goodness, but Powerline eclairs are full of stuff that you cannot reprint in nice family publications like the Washington Pust. I mean Post. Whatever.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Lindata said...

I'm a liberal of the bluest sort and I post "thank you"s on the conservative blogs frequently. Somehow I think there are a mix of personalities on both sides. Have a nice day.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Ann Altmouse said...

I see "Atrios," aka Donald Black, has decided to pump up his hit count by linking to me. That just proves what a vicious partisan he is! There is nothing in my post that could be remotely construed as an attack, but his post drips with venom and his wild-dog commenters abused me in the most hideous, sexist terms available. Look at the anti-woman comments of "upyernoz" for example. As a totally neutral nonpartisan, I can fairly and accurately say that nothing of comparable nastiness has ever been uttered by anyone on the Right except by those people on the Right that do not like me.

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Ron said...

Ann,
I love that you hate so sweetly. Jesus would be proud that you are such a formidable foe.

9:33 AM  
Blogger upyernoz said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:38 AM  
Anonymous SomeTroll said...

You satirist has had a few run-ins with the Right Wing. One comment goes like this: "Ann Outhouse is a bile bitch."

It is clear that this satirist is just a liberal.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Jim Brady said...

The left is angry! Angry!!!

Bad left! Bad, bad left!!!

10:25 AM  
Blogger Aspasia M. said...

Some Troll,

Are you objectively pinko commie-islamofascist-anti-feminist?

Did you forget to bring biscuts?

However, I agree with NTodd. Eclairs are a good substitute.

10:41 AM  
Blogger K. Ron Silkwood said...

Comments that disagree with Dear Diva Blogress are ipso facto rude, lack coherent and logical argument, and are shrilly partisan. Those comments should be immediately deleted so that the threads remain balanced and fair-minded.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Ann Altmouse said...

k. ron, I remind you that this blog has an open comments policy. All commenters are welcome, even the critical ones. these, however, may be deleted at any time, though I will still point out how wrong they are.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Norma Lampson said...

Ann: YOU ARE NOT A MODERATE, YOU JUST HAVE THIS SWEET WAY OF TELLING A PROGRESSIVE HOW THEY ARE WRONG, WRONG!!!
AND IT IS DUNCAN BLACK, DUNCAN,
NOT DONALD,PERHAPS THIS IS PART OF YOUR PROBLEM RELATING. Norma Lampson

1:20 PM  
Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

This post has been removed by the DHS.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

This post has been removed by the department of parody control

3:39 PM  
Blogger Thersites said...

quxxo, what was the deleted post about? According to sitemeter, btw, lots of people have been coming over here from Althouse comments.

Just curious.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ann is not partisan!

She just votes on national security grounds, nevermind anything else the administration does.

Do you not know she's a product of the 60s? She's cool!!!! She likes Panthera too!

She uses words like ROTC (rot-see) on CNN, how damn cool is she! She's also an artist!

So round, complete and bitterly happy.

She thinks in absolutes (for instance, Lieberman is "absolutely" right to criticize Dems who dare to criticize Bush on Iraq), yet tries to come across as nuanced and sophisticated. I had to drop FedJur because of this! And she's the only one teaching this course! Thank God for BarBri

Sure she's divorced, but she still maintains a blogship with her NEW AGEish ex-hubby, how avantguard of her!

She doesn't care to talk about Valerie Plame, does it surprise anyone that she doesn't want to talk about a successful, blonde, beautiful and happily married woman? Hmmm....

5:13 PM  
Blogger Jacques Cuze said...

Art had a two line post. The first line was innocuous and about Cheney, the second line was something like:

"Say, have you seen Altmouse?"

This is the blog that dare not speak its name! (I think that Ann AH crushes on Ann AM (but don't we all.))

Ya know, I think the Wikipedia needs an Ann Altmouse entry....

7:22 PM  
Blogger Thersites said...

quxxo, that's way funny.

A couple of years ago there was a site called "Atrios Jr" that parodied Eschaton. Atrios linked it from the main page, not the comments, and took it in stride. It wasn't all that good, as parodies go. But eh.

I, ahem, am not Ann Altmouse. But I'd suggest that there's a bit of an instructive difference here...

8:14 PM  
Blogger Bas-O-Matic said...

A couple of years ago there was a site called "Atrios Jr" that parodied Eschaton. Atrios linked it from the main page, not the comments, and took it in stride.

It's still there but innactive. Though by looking around at it, it looked more like MetaAtrios than than parody.

Damn, I had forgot all about the Mac Diva controversy.

8:48 PM  
Blogger Thersites said...

I never really got the point of Atrios Jr, and I'm not sure anyone else did either -- which is probably part of why it went fossil.

Annnyway.

9:06 PM  
Anonymous Stentor said...

As a totally neutral nonpartisan, I can fairly and accurately say that nothing of comparable nastiness has ever been uttered by anyone on the Right except by those people on the Right that do not like me.

Gee Ann you need to get out more, go to Free Republic's website for some of that good old-fashioned American nastiness.

10:24 PM  
Anonymous freq flag said...

I, too, was shocked to learn how very nonpartisan the Red State site is.

Only a very clever, nonpartisan, nonsexist, non-non-argument-using proflaw with experience grading blue books and reading law review articles would have the ability to come to that conclusion.

Well-poohed, o nebulous one!

11:22 PM  
Blogger Pooh said...

I'm sensing that this whole thread is taking me in vain. How partisan...

5:06 AM  
Blogger Aspasia M. said...

Pooh!

Have you brought us some honey and biscuts?

6:31 AM  
Anonymous INMA30 said...

It is clear that self-interest is the root of these attack and that must be kept in mind. This partisan "satirist" is obviously trying to increase traffic to her insipid site. Her clearly partisan readership seems to be made up of obstuse people who can't even think straight enough to see the "satire", poor though it may be, as such.

7:09 AM  
Blogger Aspasia M. said...

I found this insightful comment on another, strangely similar, blog. It is food for thought for Prof. Altmouse:

Mod Newt says:

"If you are finding that right wing posters seem rational while left wing posters seem wack-a-do, it probably means you are closer to the right than to the left."

12:34 PM  
Blogger Pooh said...

Have you brought us some honey and biscuts?

If dear Blogress Mistress of Enlightenment and Sustained Unblemished Self-Reflection commands it.

5:53 PM  

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