Armanio over at Daily Kos
is making vicious fun of beautiful nonpartisans like myself in a very clumsy way, calling us the "theoretically not stupid folks [who are] wondering what hit them in the Left Blogosophere." I wondered for minute what a "blogosophere" was for about fifteen minutes until I realized I had dribbled Diet Coke on my sweater and a fly was stuck in my left nostril. What a "buzz"! But what sort of a word is "blogosophere" anyway? When I grow up I want to be a "blogosophile" and live in "Blogosophopolis" and eat "blogospholopochips" with "sour cream and onion blogosopholopidip." Ha ha! What a hoot....
Do you ever wonder why squirrels are talking about you behind your back? I do. That is why I always hide my acorn collection in my cheeks when I walk across campus.
UPDATE: Oh yes, Ariosto from Daily Kos. He wonders why I believe that Democrats need to follow the sound advice of the nonpartisan site Red State and stop being mad at the very moderate decisions of the Bush administration. As if that is such an absurd proposition.
All he can do is sneer
and explain why
he is mad at Bush
. Oh yeah? Oh YEAH? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Well you
. I represent every vote
you need to win
. Not only do I have my own vote; I also have the command of an army of renegade but extremely nonpartisan squirrels who will push whatever lever I command because I am the Mistress of Acorns. Does Arbusto from Daily Kos not know
that a moderate nonpartisan like myself is essential
to any election because of our command of the acorn
vote? How does he mean to persuade us with the tone of bitter nuttiness
that pervades every post that he makes
? Does he not fear
my use of italics
I watch the Colbert Report every night, and only the squirrels and I really understand the joke! Why is this not convincing proof of my nonpartisanship? The fools! THE FOOLS! Why can they not see how very necessary
Arguendo simply cannot comprehend the threat posed by my acorn-frenzied squirrel army. It is a mystery why so many people on the Left are so blinded by partisanship that they cannot appeal to the reasonable center, as so perfectly represented by myself.
UPDATE: I'd thought a link from Kos would increase traffic stats. It hasn't. This has caused me to lose interest in the entire disagreement with Orlando. How was I to know he wasn't Kos just because his name was different and he didn't link from the Kos main page? The conclusion is inescapable: Kos is avoiding me, just as does Atrios, who never links here. Cowards! I will argue with Monsanto again when he kills Kos and seizes control of the blog. And NO he may not rent out my squirrel commandos for this purpose. They are nonpartisan, after all.
UPDATE: I am unsure of whether or not to disagree with this guy
because I do not know how many hits he gets. All I know is that his life must be very boring because he has nothing better to do after watching the first third of a movie except watch the rest of it. How dull! His imagination must be very stunted, probably because he was abused as a child, perhaps because of an acute bowel disease. That is I suppose what would make him never miss a chance to insult someone like me, someone who has never insulted him and is totally neutral when it comes to politics.
UPDATE: Did I mention I always watch The Colbert Report
? I'll also laugh if you make an obscene gesture at Dick Cheney, because I am hip and "with it." But it will not win my vote because I value civil discourse. That is clear.